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Effective Listening is part of Effective Leadership and Coaching/Mentoring

In all areas of leadership and coaching, the ability to actively listen is a crucial skill that can make or break a professional relationship. The benefits, however, are like the western saloon doors of the old Hollywood movies: two way. It helps the coach and leader to understand, empathise, and respond to the needs of the person in front of them more effectively. It also supports the leader to achieve the goals or aims that are interlinked to the performance of others.

Ok … But why should a leader be interested in listening to what other people think or feel?

The leaders and coaches/mentors could simply tell them others to do. However, when people feel heard, they are more likely to engage in self-reflection, which is a critical part when supporting personal growth. Listening also encourages people to articulate their thoughts and feelings, which can lead to greater self-awareness and clarity about their goals and the steps needed to achieve them. As well as foster the trust and openness needed to find the changes needed to support strong progress.

Many leaders and coaches will know how difficult it is to keep the ‘noise of a busy day’ from slipping into their minds during meetings and coaching sessions. But they should strive to block out the rest of the world to listen. Why? Because, for some, this may be the only uninterrupted time with a leader that they have that is dedicated to focusing on their challenges that person faces. They deserve your attention and time.

Understand First and Opinions last.

Leaders can be notorious at ‘knowing the answer’ before the issue is discussed. However, as Stephen Covey said, ‘Seek first to understand, then to be understood’ (Covey, 2005 P.273). Because ‘all roads lead to Rome’ and the direction that the leader in a position of seniority previously took, may not now be the right way. Also, by allowing the person to decide, the leader is showing that they have truly heard. Obviously, there are caveats that need to be considered here, like legislation and safety etc.

Listening (and indeed leadership and coaching) requires an understanding of the current goals, aspirations, and challenges that the person faces. Active listening helps the leaders and coach to go deeper, to delve into that person’s perspective. But it’s not just about hearing the words but also about noticing the nuances of both the spoken and unspoken communication, because these can reveal that which is hidden (deliberately or not) and understanding this can lead to breakthroughs in the leadership and coaching process.

Effective listening equips leaders and coaches to offer the tailored  guidance that may be needed. This should always be done with the other person’s  permission. It’s polite and empowering for the colleague in front of you. But instead of giving feedback, which often manifests itself into telling them what to do, ‘hold up a mirror’ (Roll 2015) to the person. Reflect back to them that which they have said, communicated or done. Without judgement! This allows the staff member or coachee to see/hear what they have said, done or communicated and gives them the time to reflect upon it and, if needed, hone their thinking or actions.

Active Listening Techniques that can make a difference.

  • Environment: plan an environment that supports the active listening by preventing interruptions, shutting the email off, put your phone in the draw, even leave the building if needs be.
  • Deliberately Choose to Engage: use eye contact, nod, shake your head, take a breath in, use short words or phrases like ‘OK,’ Tell me more’ etc. But not in the day dream responses that we have all seen in meetings. This works in two ways. The leader shows they are listening by using a these but equally the leaders is looking for non-verbal cues from the person speaking to try to further understand that person’s position.
  • Paraphrasing and Summarising: Repeat back to the person in order to ensure accurate understanding and show you have heard what has been said.
  • Mirroring or Matching: By subtly reflecting back the person’s movements, pitch, and tone of voice etc., you can show that you are listening.
  • Open Questions: Ask open-ended questions that avoids those the ‘yes or no’ response that are often used to lead or cajole a desired response.

Listening is a strategic tool to support others. It helps leaders to create a space where the client or colleague can express themselves and feel understood. In doing so, it helps develop deeper relationships that supports all in their drive for greater efficacy in the work place or coaching session.

Bibliography

Covey, S.R. (2005). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective people: a Personal Workbook. London: Simon & Schuster.

Cuncic, A. (2024). 7 Active listening techniques for better communication. [online] Verywell Mind. Available at: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-active-listening-3024343 [Accessed 8 Apr. 2024].

Doyle, A. (2022a). Active Listening Definition, Skills, and Examples. [online] The Balance. Available at: https://www.thebalancemoney.com/active-listening-skills-with-examples-2059684 [Accessed 8 Apr. 2024].

Doyle, A. (2022b). What Are Listening Skills? [online] The Balance. Available at: https://www.thebalancemoney.com/types-of-listening-skills-with-examples-2063759 [Accessed 8 Apr. 2024].

Levitt, D.H. (2002). Active Listening and Counselor Self-Efficacy. The Clinical Supervisor, [online] 20(2), pp.101–115. doi:https://doi.org/10.1300/j001v20n02_09.

Mackie, D. (2016). Strength-based leadership coaching in organizations : an evidence-based guide to positive leadership development. London ; Philadelphia: Kogan Page.

O’Bryan, A. (2022). How to Practice Active Listening: 16 Examples & Techniques. [online] PositivePsychology.com. Available at: https://positivepsychology.com/active-listening-techniques [Accessed 8 Apr. 2024].

Rhodes, C. and Fletcher, S. (2013). Coaching and mentoring for self‐efficacious leadership in schools. International Journal of Mentoring and Coaching in Education, 2(1), pp.47–63. doi:https://doi.org/10.1108/20466851311323087.

Roll, E. (2015). MIRROR TECHNIQUES. [online] Elizabeth A. Roll. Available at: http://www.elizabetharollcoaching.com/blog/2015/2/2/mirror-techniques [Accessed 11 Nov. 2022].

Starr, J. (2021). Coaching Manual: Your Step-by-step Guide to becoming a Great Coach . 5th ed. Harlow: Pearson Business.

Van Nieuwerburgh, C. (2020). INTRODUCTION TO COACHING SKILLS : a practical guide. S.L.: Sage Publications.

www.lumiacoaching.com. (2003). The Coach and Client Partnership: Holding Up a Mirror and a Flashlight | Lumia. [online] Available at: https://www.lumiacoaching.com/blog/the-mirror-and-the-flashlight-coaching#:~:text=The%20mirror%20held%20up%20in%20coaching%20shows%20clients [Accessed 8 Apr. 2024].

www.revolutionlearning.co.uk. (n.d.). What is Effective Listening? – Listening Skills Articles. [online] Available at: https://www.revolutionlearning.co.uk/article/what-is-effective-listening.

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