Many leaders already understand the role that compassion plays in effective leadership and healthy organisational cultures. They also recognise that communication is shaped not only by what is spoken but by what is noticed, sensed and left unsaid. The research base for compassionate leadership continues to grow, showing its positive effect on performance, wellbeing and organisational resilience (Trzeciak, Mazzarelli and Seppälä, 2023; Rogers, 1957). One area where compassion and communication frequently meet is in the handling of feedback, particularly when that feedback is a complaint.
Schools, businesses and charities often fear complaints because they can feel like personal criticism or institutional threat. When compassionate leadership is applied, complaints become something different. They become a form of communication that carries emotional weight, unmet expectations and important information about the lived experience of stakeholders. A compassionate organisation would state this openly. Imagine a school or charity communicating the following message on its website.
“We welcome your feedback and hope you will let us know when we have not got things right, so that we can grow, develop and get better.”
This is more than good public relations. It is a cultural value that signals openness, accountability and psychological safety. It is also an invitation into partnership.
A compassionate leader is not simply someone who is kind. They cultivate a culture in which compassion is embedded in the everyday behaviours of the organisation (Poorkavoos, 2016). This supports the development of an organisational culture that actively notices when something is not right (Schein, 2010). Such leaders understand that feedback, including complaints, serves several important purposes. It can reveal difficulties, unmet needs and blind spots within systems or interactions. It offers opportunities for personal and organisational development. It strengthens trust when the response to feedback is open and non defensive. This reflects Rogers’ (1957) view that compassionate responses enable growth. It also aligns with the research that emphasises the importance of what is unspoken in communication, including tone, gesture and emotional undercurrents (Mehrabian, 1971; Van Nieuwerburgh, 2020).
Avoiding feedback, or responding defensively, has consequences. Unspoken or unaddressed concerns can give rise to insecurity and fear (Brown, 2012). In schools this can damage trust with parents or reduce staff wellbeing. In charities it can affect stakeholder confidence. In businesses it can impact retention, performance and morale.
Psychological safety, described by Edmondson (1999), is essential for healthy cultures. It develops when individuals feel able to share concerns, aspirations or difficulties without fear of judgement. Leaders who invite feedback without blame or stigma create this safety (Tehan, 2007). Leaders who avoid feedback weaken it.
Complaints often tell a story that is far wider than the issue described. They contain emotional meaning, relational context and personal experience. Compassionate leaders therefore attend to both what is said and what remains unsaid. They consider the emotions being communicated, the assumptions they themselves may hold, and the history of previous interactions that may shape interpretation (Hassin, Uleman and Bargh, 2005).This interpretation should be approached carefully. Bias can influence what is heard and understood. Transference and countertransference, described in coaching literature by Clutterbuck, Whitaker and Lucas (2016), can also affect leaders. These dynamics can cause leaders to project their own experiences onto others, or adopt the emotional tone of the person bringing the complaint. Compassionate leaders recognise these risks and reflect on their responses with care.
When leaders adopt a compassionate approach, complaints stop being perceived as threats. Instead they become valuable information that supports improvement. Complaints can provide insight into lived experience, opportunities for better practice and moments of connection. A complaint is, in many cases, an act of trust. People complain because they believe improvement is possible and because they care enough to say so. The advantages of compassionate leadership support this approach. Benefits include greater staff trust and engagement, improved wellbeing and reduced absence (Trzeciak, Mazzarelli and Seppälä, 2023). A compassionate response to complaints therefore strengthens both culture and performance.
Creating a culture that values feedback requires intentional action. Research from Harvard Business School highlights several practical approaches.
Leaders should start small, and recognise that compassion does not require significant time investment. They should express gratitude for acts of feedback, since appreciation keeps them attentive to moments where compassionate responses are needed. They should be purposeful and ask themselves what they can do, and how they can support the individual offering the feedback. They should seek common ground, including supporting those outside their immediate team. They should celebrate moments of compassion within the organisation to reinforce them (Trzeciak, Mazzarelli and Seppälä, 2023).
When schools, charities and businesses clearly state that feedback helps them grow, they express humility, curiosity and accountability. These qualities cultivate a compassionate culture where everyone can contribute to collective development.
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